Perspectives part 3 of 4

Preface and warning:

I want to make it clear in these posts, -that will soon follow suit, as this is a four part series-, that the perspective of a child and an adult greatly differs on ‘child abuse’.

I will add in some fictional essence to this post and write it in a story like manner, as to protect the privacy of the victim.

 It is my policy to not make the real case a laughing matter,so I will find the right balance between changing the story ever so slightly as to protect the victim’s privacy while making it near to the real case’s truth as much as possible.

I will share my opinion/perspective on part four where I will conclude everything.

Perspective from a victim of child abuse who years later abuses her daughter:

When I was young I only had my mother.

My name is Satomi, I’m 38 years old.

I am raising my daughter alone, I am what you would call a ‘single mother’.

My problem is that I cannot stop beating my daughter.

I am taking a therapy for my problem and many reasons.

Recently, it was getting better but I received a call last week.

The call was about my mother who was admitted to the hospital, in ICU (Intensive Care Unit).

My mother was in critical condition.

I am very conflicted on whether I should visit her or not.

I was really having an internal turmoil.

The reason for my distress is that my mother abused me as a child.

The physical beatings was extensively violent and left me scarred both menthally and physically.

My mother was also a single mother.

I remember particularly, when I was in middle school my mother’s boyfriend raped me.

I soon told my mother about the rape.

I still remember it vividly how she told me,

“You b*tch! You f*cking sl*t! You ungrateful little sh*t, you stole everything from me and now you are going to steal MY man? Shame on you!” 

I was obviously shocked.

I was so fed up on that point, if she can’t protect me, I should leave.

So I went to live with my aunt.

After that incident, I never saw her again.

Back to the present, I am still conflicted if I should see her again.

My therapy doctor told me that because of the rape and the treatment I have received from my mother, that I was unable to built a healthy and long lasting relationships.

To add to that my doctor also told me that the reason I was abusing my daughter was because of the abuse I received from my mother.

…

Should I see my mother again?

-End of perspectives part 3 of 4-